First day of school is kind of a shitty way to start all your birthdays but it is also exciting to open up all your new textbooks and use your brand new stationery, it's a chance every year to begin anew.
This year I turned 26, and that's how I feel about it. It's a time to begin again.
I don't usually feel different "more grown up" after a birthday, I mean it's not like our brains are tuned into this arbitrary date where our subconscious magically changes after the stroke of midnight. Or I dunno, maybe it does, someone call VSauce.
But this year was different, the week before my birthday I started caring less about looking foolish and caring a lot more about going after and getting the things that I wanted. I felt more determined.
"All external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." - Steve Jobs
I had just gotten back from a trip from Beijing with my parents with gave me a lot of time to think. My talented fashion designer friend Cristina Sabaiduc messaged me to encourage me to submit my fashion history comics to big online publications and I timidly did. And surreally I got a response.
But this is just where it begins.
I'm at a point where it feels like things that were once my wildest dreams can happen, but only if I grab those faint mist of ideas, shake them away from the foggy surroundings of my erratic brain and then work relentlessly at it and not let it go and not get scared then maybe I could have those things that I so desperately and so secretly want.
silly cat desk picture at the top. But whatever, I'm not gonna apologize for it, it's cute and I'm standing up on my baby deer legs now.